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Lost and found
December 27, 2012
Lately, I have gotten confused about how I feel about Christianity. I know that I believe in God, and I recognize that my life is blessed due to the grace of God. I first was drawn to my home church due to a number of factors. First of all, the beauty and majesty of it attracted me. The large stone structure, built in the 1800s, is at once reverent and irreverent, with its bell tower up top and its bowling alley down below. The sanctuary is large and airy, with beautiful stained-glass windows and organ. Close to the university, the music director has access and means to attract many skilled vocalists and instrumentalists, resulting in a service that goes above and beyond in regards to its music. The traditional service, organized and musical, is definitely a gem in this modern city. The church membership, owing again to its location, is diverse in age, ethnicity, and backgrounds, attracting international visitors and missionaries. To top all of this off, the senior minister always provided excellent sermons, delving into Old and New Testament to explain the reasoning for how things happened based on the culture at the time, and what it taught us in our modern day society. It brought new understanding of the Bible in ways that was applicable to my own life.
A few years down the line, the entire ministry team has changed hands. Thankfully, the music, building, and people remain. However, instead of bringing me closer to God each week, the new ministry team manages to repel me further away with every sermon. The senior minister’s literal and conservative approach to the Bible, and especially the Old Testament, has me balking and questioning the very foundation of my Christian understanding. It’s a very confusing place to be, especially around Christmas time.
The plan, then, is to go back on my own and read the Old and New Testament afresh using my grown up eyes. It’s been decades since I’ve looked at the New Testament, and indeed I’ve never read through the entire Old Testament. So it’s time that I read it myself and make for my own understanding.
So far, I’ve gone through part of Genesis. The way I see it, there were humans before Adam and Eve. The text says so as much, that the sons of God married the daughters of men. This explains why humans are not all clones, derived from Adam and his rib, Eve. Adam and Eve are one because they are a committed couple. Eden is their world before understanding good and evil. The defining feature of Adam and Eve then, is not that they were in Eden, but that they were the first to leave it. Eve figures it out first, presents it to Adam, and the two of them are instantly thrown from Eden when their eyes are opened. No longer without conscience, they now need to live with the consequences of their actions. However, despite their moral awareness, they continued to sin as humans. Without conscience then, we cannot be held accountable for our actions. But with this knowledge, continued sinning angered God, who unleashed his fury on the world. The story of Noah’s ark, which probably is an accounting of a true flood that happened in that part of the world, represents God coming to terms with his creation. Mankind is not perfect, and with the rainbow, He promises that despite our continued sinful ways, He will no longer attempt to destroy creation. Years before Jesus Christ, the Good News of the Bible has already been told. Those of us who can’t see the difference between good and evil remain “in Eden” and are safe. Those of us who can see the difference and continue to sin will disappoint God, but he will not destroy us either. Either way, from the beginning of our days, we have been forgiven. And that is the Good News.
With this, I am reminded again that spiritual growth requires that you ask questions. There is not one single path to God, and if you never open your eyes and heart to ask the important questions, you will never find the answers.
Plan of Action for 2013?
- Personal Health - attain healthy target weight by July 1 through diet and exercise
- Spiritual Health - finish reading the Old and New Testaments
- Interpersonal Health - make time for family and friends
- Career Health - continue to develop research portfolio
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