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Self-respect
January 24, 2012
Despite not doing what I meant to do, tonight has been productive.
The past year, I’ve written quite a bit about my 2011 Plan of Action. Its success led me to update it to a 2012 Plan of Action. Same three basic categories, updated goals. The health plan, the career plan, the personal life plan… Each section had a number of bullet points, and I realized it had become quite complicated. A few days ago, I distilled it into three main items. Lose 15 lbs. Get the job I want. Have the relationship I need.
Something I have been struggling over the past while has been how I don’t feel worthy of the things that have come to me. I don’t see why I’m worthy of my job successes and opportunities. I don’t understand why my boyfriend loves me the way he does. It’s always a little nagging feeling in my head of what little thing will happen to make everyone realize how unworthy I am of everything.
Tonight, I had some work-related stuff I wanted to get done, but ended up watching some documentary about obesity. One particular point hit home - God gave us this body, and we should respect it. It’s weird because that’s not even the point of the documentary, but that is the point I needed. It dawned on me that my Plan of Action, distilled into three points, can be distilled even further into a single word. Self-respect.
Losing weight and getting healthy is about respecting my God-given body. Attaining the job I want is about respecting my abilities enough to tell people what I need. And the relationship thing? Really it is about respecting myself enough to appreciate that I deserve to be loved.
So despite there being three major action points to 2012, the basic goal is to learn to respect myself, and stand up for what I deserve. The 2011 Plan of Action was a success. 2012 is about completing and consolidating these successes, moving forward with them, but most importantly realizing why.
Happy New Year.
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