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Pulled from the root

January 17, 2011

Last night I dreamt that my mother was cutting apart and throwing away my miniature pomegranate. I watched as she pulled the roots out of the soil as I cried out for her to stop. I tried to explain to her that I had just trimmed it down, and that it was hibernating for the winter and was still alive. That it was going to grow back if she would stop cutting at it. I woke up mad, but reminding myself that the plant is actually fine in my kitchen didn’t help. I realized it was about something else.

I have some transient plants like some wildflowers or the basil I had planted from cuttings. Those will fall away, which doesn’t bother me. However, the miniature pomegranate is a miniature bush that I have been taking care of for years and love it. Once in a while, this is what the plant does. It sheds all its leaves, but then grows back bigger and more beautiful.

Friendships are like plants. You water them regularly, take care of them. Some will die, and it’s OK. Others you care about and want to keep with you for a long time. This weekend a good friend I care about came to a disagreement with me about something. He received a pipe as a gift and has been smoking it and talking about how great and nostalgic it is. I commented that it wasn’t good for his health, that pipes like cigarettes cause cancer. He didn’t like how I posted that comment in response to his Facebook profile. He said he knew the risks of the choices he makes. I didn’t get it because I feel it important for a real friend to point things out when nobody else will. We discussed it a few times privately, and then he blocked me.

I was deeply hurt by this. I told him in my last message that perhaps on this one issue, it was best to agree to disagree. That I wouldn’t criticize him anymore when he did something I thought might be bad for him. Whatever the reason, it just didn’t seem important enough to defriend and block someone who has been a good friend for years. It seemed almost trivial and undeserved.

A tree cut apart with shears and pulled out of the ground, just because its leaves had fallen for the winter.


One Response to “Pulled from the root”

  1. spvwolfy Says:
    January 17th, 2011 at 7:56 am

    I am sorry that you are hurt. I have found that some times we out grow friendships. It happens, and yes, it is sad. HUGS to you.