« Pursuit | Home | A decision? »


March 4, 2009

My mind has been playing tricks on me again. In retrospect, I’ve been in a weird funk for a number of days now. On the edge. Daytime is OK, but by evening I’ve been really tired and in a terrible mood. Things and events not feeling the way they really are. At first I chalked it up to getting over my month long cold. Then, I didn’t know what it was. I assumed it was reality. Tonight I got a headache. Then everything came together and made sense. I wish sometimes I would know that it’s a migraine causing my mood ahead of time. Would save a lot of grief for no good reason.

Sometimes I think the sensitivity is a gift. Sometimes I find it a hinderance. I feel like aneternal optimist who’s brain once in a while tricks me into pessimism. Sometimes I feel both at the same time. Like lately, when my brain would understand that things are going very well, while a growing nagging feeling would emerge that things are terrible. Then I need to find explanations for the terribleness. Try to convince myself of it. Then the migraine comes and it’s all over again.

Hopefully this will be gone soon.